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An Open Letter

Post 13 of 312

I just watched the movie Bully and realized a few things. The first being that it was a small glimpse into what we’ve probably already known . The second being that bullying doesn’t stop in grade school. Well for some it does, and for others the unhappy children they were, turn into unhappy adults.  Before I continue I would like to address and thank the continued support I’ve received online, in social media like facebook and twitter, and through emails and community events. There are a lot of you that get it. That positivity is why I’ve waited so long to address the other side of things.  A lot of  young people are my audience, I’ve ranked #1 in the youngest demographic for listeners since I’ve been on air, and have rated exceptionally well with women ages 18-34. That being said, a lot of women and young kids ask for advice, and I usually say something positive, encouraging, diplomatic and move on.  What I don’t say is what I am about to say now.

The bullying that you experience, the negativity it doesn’t stop. It keeps happening. I am almost 30 years old and STILL receive derogatory attention on facebook and twitter. Just last week I received an email from an individual who took the time to call me “whore” “photoshopped” “slut” and the concluded that at least my calendar was for a “good cause”. (my youngest brother is autistic, and ALL proceeds from sales benefit children like him) In the midst of my RAK (Random Act of Kindess) push I was scrutinized for publicly acknowledging people for doing good deeds, because that’s “not what it’s supposed to be about”.  Most recently I have been targeted on twitter by three women who find it purely entertaining to make claims about my personal life that are untrue, biased, and hurtful…and it’s been happening for years. These people are NOT the majority, and aren’t even the people that matter, so for a very long time I’ve turned the other cheek, because that’s what “strong” people do.

And that’s how we got HERE.

NO MORE turning the cheek. Shame on these adults who continue to feed into gradeschool behavior! Yes, I see what you say. Yes, I’ve read what you wrote. And it’s wrong. And mean.  I need for all the kids and women who think that I don’t feel what you feel to know, that I can RELATE.   Though I don’t enjoy giving these people the time of day, I do want to address them directly. BULLYING is not flying under the radar anymore.  What do you get out of the mean things you say? Why are you so tortured? What happened to you and why are you so unhappy that you would go out of your way to hurt others? The women who attack me online because of how I look, what I do or who I know, are seemingly, beautiful, college educated and some MOTHERS!  How is it justifiable to you to go around being so ugly? We won’t all be friends with another, we don’t even have to get along but why bully?  I am a friend, a sister, a daughter just like you.  THAT we DO have in common. When did I become not human?

I am using my voice to say shame on us as adults for encouraging one another in this type of environment, where its okay to call one another extremely hurtful things because its online. Our kids and siblings are watching, and they’re suffering because of it.  I’m standing up for the silent. Move ON. GROW UP.

to all of my young supporters who are currently in this situation, use YOUR voice. SPEAK UP. and NEVER stop. nothing is as perfect as it seems, but we can all make a difference together. If you don’t like me, him or her, or whoever…FINE, leave them alone. go the other way. but let the bullshit you project, DIE…and let the rest of us LIVE.

—La

This article was written by Lady La

13 comments:

Oscar AndujoApril 18, 2012 at 5:12 amReply

Well said my friend. It takes a lot to address it in a positive way! I don’t know how you keep your composer! I’d be swinging on uglies left and right! Thank you for beings such a positive force in my life! <3 chu!

Agnes Santos-McNellisApril 18, 2012 at 5:19 amReply

Dearest Lady La!

Don’t pay attention to those people. Just keep up the good work. We love you!

ChirprnApril 18, 2012 at 6:01 amReply

Wow well said! I have no doubt you could write this post every few weeks. Being new to twitter I find it shocking you can write just a simple tweet how you feel and just like that you have haters,calling you hurtful names etc. when it happened one night I got tears as I read it to my husband. His stated ” just think how these words hurt by ppl you don’t even know, can you imagine what it’s like for kids in school,or ppl on their jobs who get it up close and personal.” His STEP MOM ABUSED AND BULLIED HIM,his real mom died having him. He couldn’t do sports because he has asthma& parents would not medicate him so he could breath. I had the same as a child,then onto HS. I won homecoming queen and after thatodor 2 years I went through hell! Your right now I’m grown up it still happens. Bullying is a murderous act, and I can’t wrap my head around how so MAny kids,adults can B do cruel As Taylor Swift song goes .why do you gotta B so mean” her being a victum of bullying too. Yet haters still say horrible things to her because she has morals,and standards,and doesn’t sing and dance in METEL,WIRE,HALF NAKED. You are spot on, KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK And ARTICLES! It’s a long road ahead for you but change starts with one letter like yours!

maryApril 18, 2012 at 3:24 pmReply

La you are so right to call people out and stop the insanity that is going on and keeps going on because no one stops it. I was watching TV a few days ago and saw a safe auto commercial and Steve saved us money so his co workers were not speaking to him and trowing paper wads of paper and at one point when he was carrying a lunch try another employee trips him and you hear him say i am ok and then he goes in the company break room and an angry female worker pushes his coffee cup and it spills all over the front of him. During this commercial i thought about my 7 yr old son seeing this and what he would take from this and it discussed me. I wrote a letter to safe auto and called to state my feeling about the message it sends. I was bullied all my life i was a chubby child and was even stood in the front of my 5th grade class and told look at her her cloths dont evern fit right her hem on her dress are uneven ( I later found out i had scolosis that was undiagnosis) children are cruel and we need to as adults stop it and adress our own biasis. now i can tell you that for some reason i found the strength to save myself the torment that adults and children have inflicted on me. To be honest i had thought about killing my self but i guess i was too stubborn to let all the haters win because if i curled up in a ball and die then they win. THANK you for calling all the people big and small to do what they know is right. As far as random acts of kindness and your charity work remember when people point a finger of hate at what you are doing there are three fingers pointing back at them. most people will pick on people for things they are deficient in there own life so the haters probably dont give back and only to themselves so that is why they have to pick on you and others. Dont apologize for being you more people should use there talents for good . Thanks for letting me vent because bullying leaves scars that are not always seen and the voices come back especially if you doubt yourself or dont have someone who thinks you are the next thing to sliced bread.

Lady LaApril 18, 2012 at 3:30 pmReply

you’re comments mean the world to me. thank you for sharing, and for being so strong! we’re people. with hearts. and families. and FEELINGS. words hurt. I hope for everyone who’s been in this situation and who have contributed to it, that you feel ashamed. there’s no validation in being ugly towards one another. none. have your opinions, but don’t go out of your way to try to destroy something. luckily for us, It won’t WORK!

Vanessa GuzzoApril 18, 2012 at 8:02 pmReply

I commend you on your constant drive to represent so many worthy causes…you do it whole heartidly, and it shows that you strive to bring the good out in humanity. This subject hits home to me because a few years ago, a very close cousin of mine committed suicide after being bullied. She was 18, and had always lived a pretty rough life. Everytime I see a headline about a young kid taking their life I die a little inside because I experienced it first hand. Because of the impact her death had on my life, i came out a month after that. I’ve experienced alot of reactions from people in public since then, of course, all adults. But i think the most shocking are from some of my family. All adults. So i get you. I get the feelings you feel, and the pep talks you give yourself, because we are strong and def better than that. BUT, those words def do something to you eventually.

I really cant offer too much else to say on here, other than thank you.

Lady LaApril 18, 2012 at 9:17 pmReply

I am so sorry for your loss. I’m grateful for you sharing. I’m glad you understand my message. I’m not perfect. no one is. but I DO know my intentions are never to hurt another person. that’s not to say I haven’t. what I am saying is, it’s wrong. don’t continue the cycle. let’s do better. the amount of energy people are wasting on tearing one another down is an extreme injustice to every child watching.

eastvalley momApril 19, 2012 at 4:39 amReply

Dear La,

Well said. I have spent the week trying to get school admins to handle a group of kids who have taken to bullying my grade school age child on the bus each day. This is a child who is kind, happy, enthusiastic and can’t for the life of her understand why people would go out of their way to be mean to her when she just has a smile. I myself, a victim of bullying in jr. high, can relate only too well and I have found in speaking with my friends this week, many of them relate as well too. It must stop and I applaud you for speaking up and being the example. Good for you! I will share this with my daughter so that she can see that she is not alone and that a beautiful strong woman like yourself is peaking up for all of us.

Lady LaApril 20, 2012 at 2:27 amReply

I’m glad. if the school does not respond KEEP GOING!!! make THEM!!!! call the police!!!! extremes are necessary, we have to fight for these kids!!! I don’t want to hear these kids are too emotional, or should learn how to speak up…. some kids are DIFFERENT…and just because they are, doesn’t mean they should be treated like it! When children are in school, it should be guaranteed they’re protected. ZERO tolerance for bullying. thank YOU for your comment.

LisaApril 20, 2012 at 3:00 amReply

I thank u for speaking out about bullying. All my life I have been bullied and discriminated against due to my weight. I even moved from my small town in IL to move here because I was not a size 2. I was an outcast. Now I’m 31 & Im still made fun of. Ive never been in a real relationship and I continue to feel like the ugliest person ever. Im a single mother of a 2 1/2 yr old son and Im scared to death that he is goin to have to deal with such evil mean people. Anyways.. Ur abeautiful strong woman. Thank u for continuing to be a positive influence!

SummerApril 22, 2012 at 6:59 pmReply

La remember the first person to lose their cool (especially on a public platform) has already lost the “battle”. The little girls (WOMEN don’t do these sort of things) that air out dirty laundry at the expense of others are sad. Sad that they won’t ever acquire what you have, which is something they’ve always wanted. There’s always gonna be that one asshole to piss on the parade, it happens. WOMEN confront the issue head on. Bravo to you and better luck next time to them xo

Lady LaApril 22, 2012 at 11:33 pmReply

<3

MinkaDecember 29, 2013 at 3:15 pmReply

There was nothing wrong with me, but I was bullied all through school. Those people are still bullies as adults. In the workplace, I was bullied by older women. I’m glad you brought up, “The bullied child needs to speak up more.” How many times did I speak up, but nothing was done? Or when I stood up to the bullies, I was punished “for reacting”. By stood up, I mean things like verbally holding my ground or reporting their behavior. Another aspect of bullying is lying/denial, to make the victim appear to be making it all up in their head. Thank you for sharing.

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